Dirty Santa
by DressagePunk
Summary: A sexually repressed Sirius, and a seductive Hermione are matched for a Secret Santa game. A sexual Rendezvous the night before the gift exchange gives Sirius the perfect idea.


Sirius hated the way he watched her. He hated that everything she did was enticing, he hated that he seemed drawn to her. But most of all he hated that he couldn't do anything because she wasn't his, she wasn't truly Ron's but she could never be his.

He sat at the kitchen table, watching as Hermione placed plump cherries on her tongue. Sirius couldn't help but notice the way she sensually pulled the stem out of her mouth. How she sucked on the fruit and let the pit fall off her tongue.

Sirius stood abruptly and took long strides out of the kitchen; he bounded up at least three flights of stairs before he reached his room and proceeded to lock himself in it. He really didn't think he could deal with this much longer. Not that he really had much of a choice.

He'd let Harry, Ron, and Hermione move in after they graduated and found a way to bring him out from behind the curtain. He wasn't ever really sure what they really had to do to get him out but it no doubt included Hermione's spell work, Harry's tendency to be into troubling circumstances, and Ron's talents for idiotic diversions.

They were having some small family thing tonight, hopefully he could avoid the bloody thing but he doubted with Molly's persistence that that would ever be possible. So he laid in bed and let images float through his mind. It started with harmless things, his mother's painting; well maybe they weren't all totally harmless, the pillow on his bed, the kitchen table. Then it floated to cherries.

Cherries, god damn those freaking cherries. His vision of cherries had turned into something extremely less innocent by the time someone came knocking at his door.

"Come in" he said grasping the pillow off his bed and placing it strategically over his crotch.

"Sirius dear, Dinner's almost ready, please wash up." Molly said from the door frame,

Sirius waited until she shut the door, and once she did spent a good few minutes thinking about his mother's portrait screaming. That made his little problem disappear, and after washing his hands made his way to the kitchen for dinner.

Chatter laced the kitchen by the time he arrived, and unfortunately the only open seat left was the one directly across from Hermione. Hermione that was still dressed in her Ministry outfit that included at rather tight fitted suit vest that made her chest look phenomenal.

Sirius tried to forcibly shake the thoughts from his mind; as he was doing so something hit him, something small and directly between the eyes. He looked down at the placemat to see a knotted cherry stem. Hermione. But before he could so much as look up at her she spoke,

"Sirius stop shaking your head like a dog at the table." She smiled and pulled another knotted stem out of her mouth. Sirius couldn't help but smile back. But he could just wish that the smile came off more innocent than he ever intended.

Sirius sat silent most of the meal as the chatter roared through Grimmald Place. Molly had managed to magic the dining room to fit what seemed like half the wizarding world. He listened in on almost everyone's conversations but always managed to pick up on what Hermione was saying.

As dinner concluded a few people left, but most migrated into the living room for coffee and tea. Sirius sat in a large armchair; it was plastered with a black and gold pattern dating back centuries. He'd always liked this chair, mostly because neither his mother nor his father touched it.

He watched as Hermione swaggered in visibly under the control of a few drinks, but causally took a seat on the arm of the couch that Ron was sitting in. Ron didn't react in the slightest to her coming closer to him, if anything he leaned into Harry's lap just a little bit further.

Molly walked in next holding a Santa hat upside down. She peered down and shook that bag slightly before walking it towards Charlie. He took out a little slip of parchment and passed that hat on. As everyone took a slip of parchment, the hat got closer and closer to him. That's what he focused on and the fact that Hermione's fact lit up when she got her name.

When the hat hovered in front of him, Sirius reached in and played with the three remaining strips of parchment. He had almost pulled one out when he quickly dropped it and grabbed another. He hated things like this. It was always easiest to get someone you weren't close with that way the gift could mean nothing and still pass; where as if he got Harry, he'd actually have to put some thought into it.

He passed the hat and looked down at his parchment. _**Hermione**_.

That was even rougher. Christmas wasn't his favorite holiday; actually it was one of the only ones he could still tolerate. His mother had actually given them things for Christmas, but it still was linked to his mother which made him hate it.

James had often referred to him a Scrooge. Whatever that meant.

Sirius decided not to stay around for the small talk, which had gotten increasingly more boring since Harry and Ginny got engaged. All they talked about was the bloody wedding.

Hermione left the party as numbers started to dwindle, and made her way up to her bedroom. She couldn't wait to go lingerie shopping with Ginny. She was planning on buying a special holiday piece and giving it to Ron as his Dirty Santa present.

She smiled with the thought but laid down in her own room, letting the dizziness of alcohol force her brain into an immediate sleep.

Sirius spent the next week agonizing over what to buy her. He walked through Flourish and Blotts at least eight times. He didn't find anything she might find more interesting. Sweets were too boring, an animal too responsible, in addition he'd have to put with the pet.

Sirius laid in bed most of Sunday purely because stores weren't open, and he still had no clue what to get her. He wished he could just give her a huge box of cherries, cherries that she could suck the pits out of and cherry stems that she could knot in her mouth. But that wasn't good enough, that wasn't what the game was about.

Hermione wandered around the house as she did often, waiting for Ron to get back from Auror training. She couldn't help but notice that Sirius had been in a particularly follow mood lately. He'd barely come out of his room lately.

She never really understood that man. He was sexy as all hell but he was always aloof. She has fought with herself long and hard about going after him. But fear of rejection stopped her every time; she'd never be satisfied with a one night stand with someone like him. His mind, his reactions, his everything were a mystery.

She waited until Ron came through the floo, and when he did she kissed him lovingly; like she should, because she and Ron were meant to be together.

Sirius couldn't help but avoid his housemates; he didn't want to see them happy together. Especially not Hermione, not when he couldn't figure out what to get her.

Sirius couldn't sleep, or rather he couldn't sleep without having a certain set of very uncomfortable dreams about a witch half his age. He crept down the stairs, passing the snores of Ron as he made his way down to the kitchen. He'd left his wand upstairs and was half tempted to retrieve it when he saw lights and movement in the kitchen.

The war was over but he was still cautious especially after his altercation with Bellatrix and the curtain. He looked around the corner, to a sight he was pretty sure he was only imagining.

Hermione sat at the table a large bowl of plump cherries in her hands, her ankles crossed casually thrown up on the table. But what he couldn't get over was how she looked, sure the little black nightie was sexy as all bloody hell but her hair was perfect. It was thick and messed up in a seemingly perfect way.

He walked into the kitchen and headed straight to the refrigerator. He grabbed a butterbeer, "Want a butterbeer Hermione?" he asked without turning around

"Sure" she responded

He popped the tops off and set one down over her. He couldn't help but look down quickly catching the top of her red lace bra. He grabbed a few cookies from the jar that Molly had left. When he sat down he couldn't help but notice that Hermione watched his every move. Her eyes hadn't really left him since he entered the room.

"Your hair looks nice." He knew it sounded odd, but he felt like he needed too

Hermione smiled with only the right side of her mouth, her eyes didn't twinkle like they normally did, but she looked like she wanted to bust out laughing.

"Sex hair Sirius." She replied, blushing and once again looking down into the bowl of cherries in front of her.

Sirius loved the way she seemed modest, even when he could occasionally hear them from Ron's room. But he didn't want to think about that, the thought alone made knots pop up within his stomach. He loved thinking of her that way, just withering beneath him not someone else.

Sirius didn't understand how far into his thoughts he gotten until Hermione smirk had grown and she was staring at him interested.

She pulled a cherry stem out of her mouth and Sirius melted a little inside.

"Why do you feel the need to tease me Hermione?" he said completely stating his mind.

"Tease you Sirius? I'm not precisely sure what you mean." She retorted, and with that slicked a tied cherry stem at him. He loved those things, mostly because it was just a testament to the things she could do with her tongue.

She popped another cherry in her mouth devouring it quickly. The slightest bit of cherry juice slipped out of the corner of her mouth, Sirius leaned over the table pulled her chin close and kissed the spot off her lips.

She didn't really respond, she looked at him with bold bright eyes. He could feel the gears of her brain churning through what had just happened. He straightened himself, drained the rest of the beer in front of him and started walking back upstairs. The look on her face struck him as upset, unnerved. He was out of line and he shouldn't have pushed it.

She wasn't flirting with him, she was just talking and he took it as something else. The pad of his barefoot hit the cold of the first stone step when he felt a force hit him square in the back. He felt soft hands wrap around his shoulders, slim legs wrap around his waist, and thick hair on the side of his face.

He waited for her to stay something, anything. But she didn't, so he kept walking. He walked up all three flights of stairs to his room, where he walked them through the door and closed it behind him.

Sirius could feel her heart beating through the soft skin on his back. All while he was merely thanking the gods that he'd kept working out since leaving Azkaban, or he never would have been able to walk them both up those stairs without getting winded. Winded wasn't sexy.

Without warning Sirius shifted his weight off the left, hooking his arm around the side as to catch Hermione when she slid. Hermione slid right into his arms and he pulled her quickly into his chest. He loved that way her breasts felt pushed into the muscles of his chest. He loved the way she felt.

Without a word, she pressed her lips into his in the same soft, seductive manner as he had. He pushed her up against the wall; Hermione's legs dangling for a moment before wrapping once again around his torso.

He bit her upper lip as she kissed his lower lip; he loved the way she whimpered in response. She raked her fingers through his long hair, and let her nails scrap down his back. When her hand made their way back up she pulled the back collar up and over his head.

Sirius moved his hands modestly from her waist down to her ass and pulled her closer. She moaned as he sucked on the soft flesh of her neck. His hands found their way under her nightie. He yanked it off after setting her down for a mere moment.

Hermione wrapped her leg around and through his pulling on his denim that he was still wearing, she used the leverage to pull herself back level with his lips and kiss him once again. Sirius tried to marvel at her beauty but was too distracted by the almost naked woman climbing his frame.

He smiled and forcibly pushed her back into the wall, he felt the old plaster crack behind the weight of them both. He couldn't help but smile, even while he was kissing her back, this brilliant witch was destroying his family home. He loved the fact that this was causing his mother to roll over in her grave.

Hermione moaned softly as she moved her hands towards the buckle of his jeans. Sirius moved himself closer to her and she managed to throw his jeans around his ankles. He stepped out of them and threw her a few feet over to the bed.

Hermione giggled as he walked over throwing his boxers on the floor. She slipped her bra off, and kicked out of her panties by the time he reached her. Slowly positioning himself on top of her, he kissed her mouth softly as he slid into her moist heat.

He started to move slowly before he heard her whisper, "Harder". He took that as all the motivation he needed before thrusting into her roughly. She raked her nails down his back leaving broken skin fragments all the way down his shoulder blades. His rough hands started to message her throbbing clit, as she moaned into his mouth one again before letting out a scream.

His hand instantly left her pleasure center and jumped to cover her mouth. He made a "shhhh" noise and smiled as her eyes met his stare. She met his gaze and as he started to pull his hand back she drug her tongue over his fingers. Hermione laughed at Sirius's shocked look.

"I know how to play dirty." She said before rolling him over and landing on top.

Sirius watched as Hermione rolled her hips back and forth over his cock, as Sirius grabbed her hips she moved faster and faster. His rough fingers pressed into the flesh of her hips, his thumbs into the grooves beside her hips.

As his fingers found their way back to her nerves and she was quickly moaning and occasionally muttering curse words of dead languages. He loved that her intelligence within the bedroom was incredibly sexy.

He felt her walls clamp down around him, as she whimpered and fell flush with his chest. He wasn't completely finished with her but he gave her a minute to recover. He waited as her breathing started to return to a normal level. Her chest stopped violently heaving against his and he pushed her sweaty, matted hair out of her face.

She smiled slightly as she managed to find the strength to push herself up; she let herself fall back into kissing him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sirius kicked them back over so he was once again on top.

He slowly started moving within her again, this time was slow and loving. Hermione's lips never left his. He loved the way how when he moved she mirrored it, how when his hand reached out her small ones reached for them again.

In a few moments Sirius could fell her walls start to clamp down again but he followed soon after Hermione's waves of pleasure followed through both their veins.

Sirius rolled off to the side but quickly pulled Hermione into his shoulder. He didn't want her to leave, and by the way that she was still panting she didn't really want to leave either.

They both fell asleep quickly and awoke the next morning to sunshine coming through the blinds.

"How'd you sleep perfect?" Sirius asked, petrified that she was going to bolt in a half a second

"Absolutely great." She said stretching over his chest and kissing his cheek.

"So what I really meant, how was the sex?" he blurted out, running his hand through her massive head of sex hair

"Ron never gets me that wet." She retorted before closing herself off and quickly leaving.

Sirius smiled, not only had the thought of the night prior but he finally knew what to get her.

Sirius put the final bow on the package before thundering down the stairs to the roaring party. He slipped his gift in with the other packages before joining the party.

He watched as the presents were passed out, as the red package landed in Hermione's lap and a silver wrapped one was placed at his feet.

The room was loud with people discovering their anonymous Santa's, and unwrapping gifts. Sirius unwrapped his to find a bottle of Ogden's Finest Firewhisky. He thanked Harry for the gift as the twinkle in his eye quickly gave him away.

Hermione unwrapped her gift a few moments later to reveal a small bottle of cherry flavored lubricant. She smiled and quickly shot a look at Sirius before laughing with the group.

AN: Let me know if you liked it:) Review Please


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